Category: Dating and Relationships
Over there.
By Robert Kingett.
The restaurant I'm in is busy with the smell of grease and chatter invading my ears like school gossip but they don't compare to the very interesting person sitting across from me watching me masticate steak with the grace of a gazelle. His name is James, a librarian who hasn’t read Harry Potter. The emails went well with revealing reverence about his favorite hobbies including MAGIC: The Gathering card game and horses. The phone conversation is just as smooth with me giggling to compliments about my online dating profile. The dinner is even better with fervent conversation pitched between us as if we were old family members. We discuss politics, the future, and why cotton candy tastes so good. We debate on the best cotton candy flavor while asking each other questions about our beliefs, his voice deep and carrying his tuneful trill like a booming base. The white cane in my lap does not seem to be of importance to him, nor does he dislike my pale complexion that's such a contrast to his.
All too soon we must leave. As I stand up and pop my cane open, ready to traverse Chicago sidewalks, I ask him where the entrance is.
“It’s over there.”
Over there is certainly a strange place. I've never been there but I have heard of its existence. I'm not alone however. To blind and visually impair people over there is a mystical land filled with various objects such as cell phones, tissue paper, keys, and even shoes. For years blind people have wondered the exact location of over there, cross by the inability to find this place that's shrouded in mystery and intrigue. Over there seems to be a well-known place by sighties. I wonder how many miles they have to drive to reach over there, and I wonder how much gas is needed to go over there.
Hearing about this mysterious land for so long I decide to solve the mystery which had vexed my compatriots since the beginning of time. Taking a deep breath and smiling wider than a final contraction, I ask my dark date “where's over there?”
The silence is deafening as sighted people from all walks of life stop walking by and gape. I can hear their thoughts. Should this person let a blind gay man gain access to this hidden land? My date definitely has a tough decision ahead of him. I'm excited though because I'll finally learn where over there is! My grip tightens on the handle of my cane in anticipation. I'm going to a place that no other blind person has traversed! Perhaps I'll learn what's so special about it that everything resides there.
My date smiles and takes my hand, drawing me into his confidence. He resolves and he tells me, “It’s that way babe.”
Which way?
he then said "this way" I never dated him again LOL
I love this! I first ran across it in an e-mail forward sometime last year. Bloody brilliant!
LOL... funny!
Kate
miss thing, but over there is real simple. its just over there past down there and right after down younder is.silly. loved this.
This is wonderful! Kathy Ann Murtha wrote something like this years ago, but she wrote it from the perspective of a blind woman using a guidedog. Both of these articles bring up a great point.
I went looking, for those who might want to read the other article from 2010.
http://www.cathyanne.com/?p=19
Over There
by
CathyAnne Murtha
As my guide dog and I stood in line at the checkout of the River City Market at CSUS, I asked the cashier what I considered a simple question. “Where are the napkins please?” her response was hurried, but sincere, “over there.”
Emerging from the light rail for the first time, I managed to catch the attention of a passer-by, “please sir, can you tell me where I might catch bus 63?” A kind voice offered a pleasant response before disappearing into to the cacophony of the early afternoon, ‘you can catch it…‘over there.’”
So many things reside over there – napkins, bus stops, pencils, pens, clothing racks, department stores and even my shoes! A never ending supply of important and indispensable items and locales all reside in this place that is shrouded in mystery and intrigue.
I stand in perplexed silence after learning that something is over there. It’s a place I have never been and have no hope of finding on my own. My guide dog is skilled at finding chairs, stairs, elevators, escalators, helping me cross streets, and can even find me the Diet Pepsi display at Food Town; however, when I tell
her to find “over there” her little bottom hits the floor and a small whimper tells me that she is as confused as I. We will not be going “over there” today. Over there has caused me a bit of vexation, a lot of confusion, and on occasion, made my heart race.
I have discovered that “over there” can be a dangerous place. One day, while crossing a street, I heard a driver’s irritated voice shout out a warning of a truck bearing down on me from over there. Shadow artfully dodged the oncoming vehicle and pulled me to the safety of the curb; our hearts were both racing as we took
a few moments to compose ourselves. Close encounters with over there can be frightening experiences.
Although many blind people have wondered about the exact location of “over there,” few have dared to venture forth in an exploration of the mysterious place.
One day, while standing in line at the supermarket, I asked the clerk where I might find the aspirin. With a cheery smile in her voice, she informed me that the aspirin was located “over there.” With a weary sigh, I decided that I would take the extra step that would unravel the mystery, which had vexed my compatriots
since the beginning of time. Taking a deep breath, and attempting to look nonchalant, I smiled at the clerk, “Where,” I asked, “is over there?” I imagined the girl’s shocked expression. I felt her sharing condescending and concerned looks with her fellows in the store. The silence grew palpable as they mulled the possibility
of allowing a blind person access to the forbidden land.
She had no choice; she would have to tell me how to find “over there!” I had won! Exhilaration swept through me as I waited in breathless anticipation. A victorious smile crept to my lips, my hand tightened on the handle of Shadow’s harness; we would soon be going over there! The clerk’s voice reeked with resignation
as the decision was made, “That way.” She said.
Ah. Actually, I believe this version is the one that was e-mailed to me.